Explore our pages of knowledge, skills and advice.
Get informed and get active.
First of all, create the right atmosphere that is conducive to calm and reasoned conversation, with the critical faculties fully engaged.
- Learn more about the cognitive and psychological factors that improve reasoning and discussion.
- Acquire the skills to foster critical and principled discussion and keep it from turning sour.
Secondly think of some creative activities apart from ordinary discussion and debate.
Thirdly, you might like to define your limits and boundaries - know what you don't want.
Characteristics of an atmosphere conducive to reasoned and principled discussion:
- Willingness to listen and understand the views of other
- Visible fairness and equality, often experienced as reciprocity: if I listen with acceptance to you, I expect you to do likewise
- Respect is manifested in words, tone of voice, body language
- Views are reported and responded to accurately, without distortion, exaggeration or ridicule
- Critique is delivered on an accurate exposition of the others views, not a misrepresentation; it is impersonal rather than directed to the individual or personal characteristics; it gives appropriate grounds
Define what your limits are
Get clear in your own mind what your limits are – for example, you may want to have a thoughtful and wide-ranging discussion, but avoid conflict or controversy, Or you may want to stir up some controversy, but you surely have some limits or principles that you don't want violated – or negative consequences you want to avoid.
Identify your own boundaries using any of the following techniques:
- Fill in the blanks: 'I don't mind … but not …' — 'People can do what they like as long as …'
- Define the principles that you stand for. Some may be more important than others. For example, how much do you value: honesty? Accuracy? Freedom of speech? Diversity of opinion? Representativeness? Authentic Islam? Respect? Vigorous debate? Peaceful dialogue? Or anything else you can think of.
- Visualise scenes that you definitely wouldn't want to happen and then scenes you could live with. What are the differences between the two?
Then do some of the following as appropriate
- Make a list of 'principles' that you follow
- Make a list of 'boundaries' not to be crossed
- Invent some 'policies'. This is a good way of creating and protecting your boundaries. It sounds less personal and more powerful to say, 'I'm sorry, we have a policy…'