My friend has changed

My friend's appearance and behaviour has changed recently. He seems to have become much more religious. He has grown a beard, no longer wears Western clothes, won't shake hands with women.

Is there a reason you're concerned about this?

Are you worried about the wider issues around the change in his religious attitudes? As you no doubt know, it is unreliable to make judgments about 'radicalism', still less 'extremism', based on dress and religious practice, and people who practice a strongly traditional form of Islam are often very uninterested in politics. If that is the case with your friend, then he or she is not likely to cause any concern. However, those who become persuaded of a strongly literalist form of religious observance might become susceptible to applying a strongly literalist understanding of certain verses, such as those calling for jihad, if they are presented in a certain way. Your friend might benefit from wise spiritual support while growing into their new-found faith and spirituality.

Here are some responses you might consider. Judge what is appropriate based on your relationship.

- Keep your lines of communication open, and improve them if possible. Don't break your rapport or trust by reacting in a negative way.
- Take an interest in her or his opinions and beliefs. Listen in order to understand, without argument, and do not react in a judgmental way. In this way you ensure that if she or he ever finds himself in difficulties, s/he can trust you enough to come for help or advice.
- You can maintain your own beliefs and opinions without getting into conflict; you don't need to agree but you don't need to argue. If asked for your opinion you can state it without argument and without defence.
- You can also maintain your own boundaries; you don't need to allow behaviour you disapprove of on your territory. If s/he crosses a line of acceptable behaviour for you, you can say so.
- Find out who may have played an influential role in these religious changes. If there are key figures in the religious renewal, finding out more about these people may provide you with welcome reassurance.
- Enlist the help from community figures who may know the people involved, and who may be better placed to assess the significance of his or her invigorated spirituality.
- If your relationship allows it and you become concerned that s/he is becoming subject to manipulation or exploitation by others, ask more about any new acquaintances s/he may have, new groups s/he may hang out with, or a new mosque or centre s/he may now attend. Make clear that your interest is intended to be supportive, not suspicious.

The way that we dress is often an unspoken statement of our identity and self-perception. For that reason, it is simplistic to insist that appearance is no indicator of a person's identity or beliefs. However, garments identified as 'Muslim' can have contrasting or even conflicting symbolic meanings: ethnic origin, a purely cultural conservatism, religious piety, or political opinions. Wearing a niqab (face veil), for example, might identify someone who is under family or social pressure � but might equally indicate a self-confident, assertive person who is strong in her personal beliefs and identity. It can be the case that those who wear traditional garments which are long and flowing feel they can maintain their modesty more easily this way than when wearing western clothing. They might also want to follow the example of the Prophet (pbuh) in appearance. Others find wearing western clothes just as modest as traditional clothing and may not be any more 'integrated' into society than those who choose to wear traditional clothing. For some, wearing traditional clothing is an outward expression of their religiosity and religious identity. A minority of those Muslims might wear traditional dress as a political and/or religious statement against western culture and its influence on Muslims.