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- Get people to listen carefully without interruption, 'just to understand, not to agree'. Then get them to accurately represent the other point of view.
- Use activities that require the thinking brain: ones that involve analysis or problem-solving. Try the Elevator Speech or Elevator Question.
- Get them to stand back from the issue by using Sticker Voting or by designing a poster for a Poster Conversation.
Emotions are a wonderful part of being human and they give our lives richness. And on issues of importance, people may feel strongly and express themselves accordingly. You don't want to censor the conversation for content or prohibit certain points of view, but you can protect the emotional and social space by insisting on good conduct. Intervene early if things take an unproductive direction before things get out of hand, while gentleness still works.
You might like to spend time beforehand thinking of your own checklist of 'warning signs' that it is time for you to step in and redirect the conversation. It may be some of these:
- If people are misunderstanding each other, and misrepresenting them
- If the point at issue is not an important one: people are fighting for dominance or their own esteem
- If people are becoming uncomfortable (including those keeping silent)
- If someone is becoming aggressive or insulting; or someone else is feeling hurt or attacked
What's your personal boundary: when do 'strong feelings' cross the line into disrespect or hostility?